Is She Worth It?
by foreverfawkes
Summary: An L/J story. Sirius and Lily are dating, but James longs to have her for her own. Eventually he will have to choose between them. His best friend or his the girl he loves?
1. Lily's Birthday

James Potter rolled over in his four-poster bed and sighed. _Is it possible for my heart to actually hurt? _he wondered gloomily. He glanced over to Sirius' dark form and grimaced. Normally a thing like this he would share with Sirius, and Sirius would laugh at him for being what he called "all mushy like a teenage girl," and James would laugh and agree and feel better. But this--this was different. _What would you call it? _James mused, running a hand through his dark, unruly hair. He groaned and slammed a fist into the bed beside him. _It's called fucking being in love with your best friend's girlfriend, _he thought sourly, and refused to let a tear leak from his eye.

"James! Mate!" Sirius' voice blared in his ear. James sat bolt upright, nearly colliding with Sirius, who was leaning over him.

"What? How long till breakfast?" James replied, trying to get a sense of the time.

"Breakfast's already over. Jeez, mate, you were out cold. I thought you'd never wake up!"

"Yeah, well, maybe I didn't need to see you and Lily making out at the table," James mumbled sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

"What was that?" Sirius asked, squinting at him as the sun hit the gold Gryffindor lion on the covers, shining straight into his eyes.

"Nothing," James yawned, and blearily made his way to the shower.

"You missed it, mate!" Sirius called after him, and James paused at the bathroom door. "Frankie and Alice were missing for the entire breakfast hour, and at the last second they came down with their clothes all wrinkled and matching knowing grins!" James snickered. Frank and Alice had been dating for a week now, and James still couldn't figure out how their relationship worked so perfectly. _Well, it's not as if you're some expert on romance, _a snide voice seemed to say. He rubbed his eyes and waved to Sirius before closing the door. Taking off his boxers, he stepped into the large, white shower in the corner. He turned the temperature knob all the way, hoping to wake himself up. The scalding water sprayed down, and James tried to figure out when exactly his life had gotten so freaking confusing. Deciding it was still too early to think about life, he turned off the shower and stumbled over to the sink. As he scrubbed his face with the acne potion Sirius had given him for his birthday (Thanks for the hint, Padfoot) he inspected his facial features closely. _What's wrong with me? _James wondered. _I'm handsome, I'm charming, I'm smart, and I'm amazing at Quidditch. What else does Evans want, for Merlin's sake? _

A few minutes later, James pulled on his red and gold Gryffindor robes and ruffled his still-damp hair. He grabbed his books and hurried to catch up with Sirius.

"What class is first?" he said, and Sirius shrugged.

"How should I know?" he said, and leaned over and rumpled James' hair. James stopped in his tracks.

"Sirius." he said seriously.

"Hmm?" his friend replied, looking around, purposely ignoring James' tone.

"Don't. Touch. The hair." James looked in a silver-lined mirror that was hanging on the stone wall beside them and carefully shook his hair into the right position.

"It looks dashing, darling," the mirror chirped, and James jumped back, slamming into Sirius, whose books scattered everywhere. Sirius laughed.

"Wow, James, the only female attention you can get is from a mirror?"

"Thanks a lot, Padfoot," James said, glaring at Sirius but also trying not to let him know how much that comment hurt. James punched him lightly in the shoulder, and bent down to help him pick up his textbooks. "I can help with that," a soft feminine voice came from the stairway beside them, and suddenly Lily was right beside James, picking up Sirius' quills.

James felt his heart beating unevenly. Lily tucked a strand of auburn hair behind her ear and smiled at him. _Well, that's certainly a change from her regular routine. I wonder why she's so happy, _James thought, staring. He couldn't take her eyes off her lips, and thought vaguely that this moment should be recorded in history as "The Moment Lily Evans Smiled at James Potter."

The moment was broken when Sirius held out his hand to Lily, and she laughingly pulled herself up. He gave her a hug, and said,

"Excited for tonight Lils?"

"Sirius is taking me out tonight," Lily explained to James. "It's my birthday and I'm turning seventeen!" _I know that, _James thought dejectedly. _I've known that since 5th year, along with that your favorite color's lilac, you have an owl named Hoot, your sister Petunia gave you a broken CD for Christmas last year, and that you love banana splits from Pete's Ice Cream Shoppe. Sirius probably didn't even know how old you were. You probably had to remind him five times that it was your birthday, when I could've told you--_

"James?" James jerked out of his little world to see Lily and Sirius staring at him.

"Uh, we better get to class," he said quickly. "If I get one more detention from McGonagall she won't let me go to Hogsmeade tomorrow." _Not that I want to interrupt your little date or anything..._

"Nah, mate, she loves you. I guess I was wrong about the mirror, cause I think McGonagall has a thing for you too--" Sirius teased and James stood up with a grin.

"Don't think you're going to get away with that, Padfoot!" he said lightheartedly and chased Sirius all the way to Transfiguration, Lily trailing behind still doubled over in laughter. Sirius blew her a kiss as she made her way to Charms.

"See you at lunch, milady!" he shouted and she curtsied, giggling. James scowled and slammed his books down in the back, his good mood ruined.

**Well, I admit James is a bit of an arrogant prat in this chapter, especially when he wonders why Lily doesn't like him, but I try to stay true to the books. Please review--I'm not positive if I'll continue the story or not. Tell me how you like it. xoxo izzy**


	2. The Date

Lily twirled around, loving the soft swish her new dress made.

"So what do you think?" she asked her roommates, grinning happily. Nathalie Brown, Kirsten Thomas, and Alice Longbottom were sitting on Lily's bed, discussing nail polish colors.

"Pink, definitely," Kirsten said, inspecting Lily's fingernails carefully.

"Yeah," Alice piped in. "Hot pink." Lily rolled her eyes.

"I meant the dress, you guys," she laughed. They looked up as one, and gasped in appreciation. Her dress was sky blue, with spaghetti straps so thin you could barely see them. Navy sequins glittered from the folds of the skirt, and a lacy underskirt peeked out at the bottom.

"Where'd you get it?" Nathalie asked, fingering the silky material wonderingly.

"Oh, it was this ugly halter I used to have," Lily said, waving her hand as though it were nothing big. "I touched it up a little bit here and there."

_"You touched it up a little bit here and there?" _Kirsten replied incredulously. "Lily, it's no wonder you're Head Girl. Can you touch _my _clothes up a little bit?" The other girls nodded in agreement.

"Oh, you guys," she said affectionately.

"Really, Lily, you look stunning," Alice said. Lily finished brushing out her silky auburn hair and clipped it back with a sparkly bobby pin. She slipped into her new silver heels and grabbed her purse.

"Have fun on your date," Nathalie called mischievously as Lily began to descend the spiral staircase that led down to the commons.

"Yeah, say hi to _Sirius_ for me," Kirsten added, drawing out his name, and all the girls giggled. Lily purposely ignored them as she sauntered towards the boys' staircase.

"Hey Sirius!" Remus yelled into the bathroom. "Didn't you have a date with Lily tonight?" He, James, and Peter cracked up. Sirius had spent the last half hour gelling his hair, getting ready for Lily's birthday dinner.

"I hope you got her a present!" James called, and the boys laughed again. Sirius came running out of the room with a wild expression on his face.

"Present?" he mouthed, looking terrified.

"G-get ready for the wrath of Lily Evans!" James gasped through his laughter. Sirius smirked and pulled out a small box wrapped in gold paper that said _Lily _in cursive.

"Who wrote that, Padfoot? You can't even read your own essays, so I doubt Lily will be able to--" James stopped abruptly as Lily walked in.

"What won't I be able to do?" she asked James, hands on hips. "Never mind," she said quickly as James began to say something. "I don't want to know. Knowing you, it was probably some stupid, annoying comment that will ruin my night." Rolling her eyes, she walked over to Sirius and kissed him on the cheek.

"Ready, milord?" she teased, and he bowed low.

"Always and forever, milady," he said solemnly and kissed her hand. They both laughed, and Sirius waved as they walked out the door.

"Have an good time Padfoot!" Peter yelled after them.

"Yeah---an _excellent _time," James said, trying desperately to make Lily laugh, but she only shook her head and muttered something unintelligible. Sirius shrugged at him, took her arm, and left.

"So guys, what do you want to do tonight?" Peter asked, yawning.

"Hey Peter," James whispered. Peter looked up. "You know that new girl, the one who transferred from Durmstrang? I think she's in your Potions class." Peter turned scarlet, and James knew he'd picked the right girl.

"I heard her say something about liking-"

"Yes?" Peter said eagerly. James sighed and stretched out on his bed. "James, c'mon," Peter whined impatiently.

"Well--she said she needed some help _settling in_ here at Hogwarts," James said slyly. Peter was practically drooling at the mouth. "And---she said something about needing a good-" he broke into a fake coughing fit. "About needing--uh, a good snog." Peter was breathing hard, his ratty little face red. "And--" James said haltingly. "She said she liked short men." Peter jumped up excitedly.

"I'll be back," he said breathlessly, and charged out of the dormitory. Remus shook his head.

"You sure know how to rile him up," he said resignedly. James nodded, knowing Remus' tone. He obviously knew that James needed to talk to him.

"Where should I start, Remus?" James said.

"Is this about a girl?" Remus yawned. James nodded. "Right at the beginning."

Lily and Sirius strolled in the direction of Hogsmeade, laughing and talking. Lily spun a strand of reddish-brown hair around her finger, excited for the evening ahead. Sirius always came up with the best dates. Last time, he'd taken her boating on the lake for Valentine's Day and had enchanted roses that spelled out her name floating on the azure waves. She smiled to herself, remembering, and hoped he'd thought of something to top that. Noticing the lull in their conversation, Sirius put an arm around Lily and pulled her close. She exhaled, looking around at the bluebells dotting the lush spring scene around them, and thought she could never be happier.

A smile tugged at the edge of Sirius' mouth as he walked with Lily, their steps perfectly in tune. He knew she hated big, crowded events like concerts so had set up something more private.

_And maybe_, he hardly dared to think, _just maybe...since it's her birthday, and I'm taking her out, and we'll be alone_...he daydreamed happily. Sirius allowed the scent of Lily's hair to fill his nose and sighed, contented.

The waiter at the front of _The Silver Unicorn_, Hogsmeade's fanciest restaurant, behind the large oak desk looked down at Sirius and Lily importantly.

"Do you have a reservation, _sir_?" he said mockingly to Sirius, nose in the air.

"Yes, I do, _sir_. I have a reservation for Black," Sirius said curtly, and the man's eyebrows shot upward.

"Please excuse me, Mr. Black," the man said, bowing respectfully. "You and your lady friend are in the Alicorn Room. You'll be dining alone," he finished, and Sirius winked at Lily, who smiled hesitantly back as they followed the man.

Lily gasped.

"Oh, Sirius!" she cried, amazed. "This is--this is incredible!" The Alicorn room had no roof, which was good because a spiral staircase rose up through where a roof should have been. There were no connections between each step, which were obviously magical. Sirius took Lily's hand and led her up the steps. As they stepped on each one, it made a crystal sound that rose higher as they continued to walk upwards. At the top there was a small platform with a white tablecloth hanging in midair above it, which held a magnificent feast. Roast duck, creamy potatoes, and freshly caught salmon beckoned to Lily, shining under the candlelight. Lily looked up, and the multitude of glittering stars took her breath away. She smiled at Sirius, who grinned back at her. He motioned to the two black chairs that were set out for them, and helped Lily into hers.

As soon as Sirius took his seat, the platform began to rise slowly. Lily looked toward the ground apprehensively.

"It's fine," Sirius murmured. "Relax and enjoy your meal. This cost a lot of money, you know." Lily jerked her head up, annoyed at Sirius for ruining her perfect moment with a reminder about how rich he was.

"You don't have to be rich to--" she began hotly, but Sirius stopped her.

"I'm sorry," he said warmly, cursing himself for not remembering how sensitive she was. "I didn't mean it like that. Let's just enjoy the time alone, okay?" She jerked her head up and down in a nod, and, picking up the silver adorned fork, stabbed at the duck.

Remus sighed and sat back against his chair.

"You've got yourself in a mess, Prongs," he said to James, who had just finished telling Remus about his girl problems. "Of all the pretty girls at Hogwarts, you had to choose the one Sirius actually seems serious about."

"So you do think he's serious about her?" James asked gloomily, idly rolling his wand between his hands.

"Well," Remus said uncomfortably, "She's the only one he's dated for more than three days." [Sirius and Lily have been dating for a month.

"Yeah, I guess," James replied. Remus studied James' face, trying to figure him out.

"Maybe you need to find another girl," he said tentatively. James just shrugged.

"Maybe," James said, his tone showing how unlikely _that_ was.

"I asked Kirsten out today," Remus said to James, changing the subject, hoping to pull James out of his depression. James tried to look interested.

"Really? What'd she say?" he asked.

"We're going out tomorrow, with, uh--" Remus stopped.

"Yeah, Lily and Sirius," James spat angrily, all pretense of interest gone. At that moment, Peter ran in, ecstatic.

"Moony! Prongs! I asked Isabel out, and she said we could go to Hogsmeade together, and I suggested maybe we could go with you and Kirsten, and Lily and Sirius!" he squeaked, nodding towards Remus. James buried his head in his hands.

**Oh, I'm so cruel to James. But it will get better, I promise--as long as you read and review! Big thanks to ****shetlandlace, elaine, endeavor, cosmopolitan, xhelloxsweetnessx, and my amazing betas. **


	3. Moving On?

The next morning James was up and showered earlier than usual. He pulled on his robes, taking more care than he would regularly to make sure there were no wrinkles. He even topped Sirius's time for doing his hair. At 8:00, he was out the door, barely glancing back at his snoozing friends.

He walked to the Great Hall quickly, stepping neatly over the bad stair on the Gryffindor staircase and tapping his feet impatiently when the staircases shifted around. The portraits looked at him curiously, and many nodded in approval. After all, to them it looked like a handsome, strong, willful head boy up early in the morning with something important to do.

James wondered why he was never this confident with Lily. He was always trying to impress her, always trying to get her to notice him, while with other girls he knew they would do anything to get him, and unfortunately for his ego he was usually right.

He strode into the Great Hall with his head held high. The Great Hall, he mused. It does fit me, I do look great. He surveyed the four tables, with his gaze stopping on the red and gold threads of the Gryffindor table. His eyes stopped at a crimson-haired, emerald-eyed beauty with a badge that matched his. He stared at her wistfully for a second, then moved on to the brunette beside her—Nathalie Brown.

He swaggered over towards them, his footsteps echoing in the nearly empty room. A bright sun in a blue sky dotted with puffs of cloud smiled down on him.

Lily had her back turned firmly away from the boy she knew was walking towards her. She groaned, wondering what kind of plaintive begging James would try, she was really getting sick of it, she'd thought he was over her, after all he hadn't said anything since she'd said yes to Sirius, after all, but…

"Morning, ladies," James said, sitting down next to Lily, who gave a terrific impression of not noticing, except for her extremely tense body.

"So, uh, I was wondering," he said, and Lily shut her eyes. _Please don't, I can't take it anymore, oh god here it comes… _ "Me and a bunch of my mates are going down to Hogsmeade, and would you like to join me? Maybe we can sneak off somewhere, get away from all those rowdy boys."

"No James," Lily said, her voice tense. "You know perfectly well I'm dating Sirius, so can you please leave me alone for once?" She exhaled, glad to have kept her voice calm. Then she opened her eyes to find both James and Nat giving her weird looks. _Why isn't he slouching away, all depressed? _She thought, confused. Then her eyes zeroed in on James' hand. To be exact, the position of James' hand. It was on—Nathalie's—Nathalie's hand. Lily blinked down at it in shock.

"Sure James, I'd love to," Nathalie giggled, and James gave her a lusty wink. James smirked at Lily's bright red face.

"Might want to get some food in that body," he advised. "I wouldn't want you to embarrass yourself like that in front of Sirius," he said with only a hint of an edge. Lily touched a hand to her hot cheeks.

"I—um—I," she stammered. James smirked again, and Nat giggled—the traitor!

"Yeah, me too," he replied and walked away. He stopped once he got to the doors. "Meet you outside at ten, and don't dress up too much, I think we're just going picnicking with the guys. He waved, and then left. Lily was speechless.

"Umm," she managed, turning to Nathalie, who looked a bit annoyed.

"Grow up, Lily. Just because he's turned to _me _ now doesn't mean you have to act so surprised about it. You should be glad he's moved on with his life," she said, storming out the door in pursuit of James.

Lily sat there for a good ten minutes trying to get a grip. _You got what you wanted—James finally stopped trailing after you. So why aren't you celebrating?_

"Way to go, Prongs," Remus said, slapping him on the back.

"Yeah, nice one, man," Sirius put in. "But seriously, that girl must have eaten something bad to get _you _to go out with her!" He cracked up, and James threw a pillow at him.

"Well, mates, I'm off to Quidditch practice!" he said. He grinned as he left, relishing the shock on Lily's face. That was what had made him so happy.

Lily couldn't help staring after James as he walked past her, sweat glistening on his shirtless chest. _No, it's not that, _she insisted to herself, _it's just that it's so weird not to have him begging for a date, or winking as if we're lovers, or—acknowledging my existence, _she thought as he didn't even glance in her direction.

_Yes, _he thought, _didn't even look her way. Prongs: 1. Lily: 0. Maybe even a negative point for the way she was salivating after me. _

Wow—another chapter done. I admit, I had no idea where this was going. James is still extremely arrogant, and we have to feel bad for Lily, but this is so fun to write. Reviews please!


	4. Summoned

_Hey guys, I'm so sorry for not updating in forever! But anyways, I'm back now, and hopefully updating on a more regular basis._

_We have a slight problem--some friends of mine have been beta-ing this story (they aren't any more, so if anyone's interested, send me an email) but they've been worried. _"Sirius and James are such good buddies," _one of my friends wrote. _"They tell each other everything. How could a scenario like this ever happen?" _Well, basically James has been lying to himself this past year. He's been trying to get over Lily--at least pretend he has--because, being James, he can't stand being pitied. Just thought I'd clear some things up!_

_Please, please review. It makes me happy._

_------------------------------------------------------------------_

James exhaled, relishing the feel of the scalding water on his naked body. _This is just what I needed to relax, _he thought, and then sighed. It had taken all of his concentration to forget Lily and play Quidditch. _It's _really _good we didn't have a match today, _he reflected, and then shuddered. _Lucius would've kicked my ass._

"Prongs, hurry up!" Sirius shouted, banging on the shower door. James rolled his eyes and kicked the door open, snickering as Sirius fell to the side, swearing. James reached for a towel.

"Nice timing, Padfoot," he sniggered as he rubbed his hair dry. Sirius hit him playfully on the side of the head, and hopped into the shower.

James stared at his reflection in the mirror. Blue eyes, framed by black lashes, sat perfectly aligned above his proportioned nose. He opened his mouth to reveal flawlessly white, straight teeth. Small droplets of water dripped from his tangled hair onto his tanned complexion; everything about him screamed _model. _He stared at the face that any wizard would Avada to have. _What's wrong with it? _He wondered. _It's handsome, it's perfect, it's drop-dead gorgeous, it's...not good enough for Lily Evans. _What was it with her that drew him? It could be that she didn't like him for his looks--_actually, she doesn't like me at all, _James amended. It might be that she was the one girl in Hogwarts who wasn't salivating after his body...or salivating after him at all. She was smart and pretty and sexy and everything he wanted but couldn't have. _Life sucks, _he thought wryly, and ambled out into his dorm.

"Hey, Moony," James said absently. "Where's Wormy?"

"Uhm...i dunno," Remus said distractedly as he searched through his closet. "He probably went for a run to calm down a little bit." James snickered.

"Did you tell him to watch out for cats?" he said pointedly. Remus chuckled, remembering Peter's close call with the current groundskeeper's cat.

"Anyway, Prongs, you wanna run down to the kitchens with me?"

"Hells yeah," he replied. "I'm starving." Remus rolled his eyes.

"I meant we need to get food for the picnic, oh wise Head Boy," he said. "Girls get slightly annoyed when you promise them a picnic and they end up with a cheap butterbeer instead." James raised his eyebrows.

"Ah. Right. Well then, let's go," he said nervously. Remus watched him suspiciously.

"Um, James? Remember our very recent conversation? You aren't planning anything, are you?" James sighed.

"No, I'm not planning anything. Why would I want to ruin Sirius' date?" _Yeah, why would I?_

"Well, you're going to if we don't get our arses down to the kitchens soon. You got the map?" James nodded, relieved that he wasn't being interrogated about his new girlfriend. Remus pulled on his robe.

"Paddy!" James called. "We're popping out for a little bit, irish boy!"

"Okay," came Sirius' muffled voice.

"Don't forget the cloak this time," Remus warned.

"Relax, Moony," James grinned. "Ole Dumbly loves me. He'd never kick me out." Remus sighed, acknowledging this.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Anyways, you ready?"

"Yeah." The two boys turned out the spot and disapparated with a _crack._

_--------------------------------------------------------------_

As soon as they'd gone through the fruit portrait, a house-elf came running up to them.

"Mr. Potter, sir! And Mr. Lupin, sir! We've been expecting you!" he squeaked. James raised an eyebrow at Remus, who lifted a shoulder in response. "Mr. Dumbledore wants to see you immediately!" he said, addressing James. "He said it was very important, and that Mr. Lupin can take care of the picnic, sir!" he said bowing to Remus. James gave Remus a troubled look. Maybe Dumbledore was finally putting his foot down about their various escapades.

"I dunno, Prongs. You better get going, though," Remus murmured. With a last worried glance at Remus, James disapparated right in front of Dumbledore's gargoyle.

"Chocolate frog," he muttered, still anxious. He ran up the flights of stairs, years of Quidditch training keeping him from getting out of breath, and burst into Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster sat, serene as ever, behind his desk. He stroked Fawkes and motioned to one of the two chairs across from him. James gave him a wary look.

"Ah, James! How wonderful to see you again. Have a seat. We are just waiting for Ms. Evans, and then we can begin." James frowned in confusion. What was _Lily _doing in trouble?


End file.
